Impatience robs Saul of his Crown

Waiting on God?
Maybe you're waiting for an answer or  for His move.
Maybe it's about your relationship, your career, your ministry.. Just be patient in waiting on what God.
At the end of the day, you will realize that God's answer is worth the wait! :)

Funny how I talked yesterday about waiting on God when I talked about my friendship with Jopel.

Last night, my devotion was all about that.

We read in 1 Samuel 13 how Saul became too impatient to wait for Samuel.

His intentions were somehow agreeable, they were in a battle with the Philistines, who had already surrounded them and had brought them terror. The Philistines were "as numerous as the sand on the seashore". The Israelites trembled and "hid in caves and thickets, among the rocks, and in pits and cisterns." That was the situation. They all were devoured by their own fear.

Samuel told him to wait for seven days before doing any kind of action.

When the seventh day come, imagine a troop of fearful Israelites anticipating Samuel, who had the key that would make them victorious against the Philippines.

They were peeking every second, if Samuel was anywhere near.

As every hour passed by, seeing no shadow of Samuel, they became more and more anxious. They were scattered out of fear of what the Philistines could do to them.

Until Saul, their king, decided to stop waiting on Samuel, to stop waiting on what the Lord would say through him.

He decided to bring an offering to the Lord, because he wanted the Lord's favor to be on them in their upcoming battle.

After he had done all these, Samuel arrived and asked him what he just did.

In Saul's reply, we would see how much fear-driven his actions were. His worry was the reason for his hasty decisions.

To this, Samuel responded saying that Saul did a foolish thing. He said to Saul, “You have not kept the command the Lord your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure; the Lord has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him ruler of his people, because you have not kept the Lord’s command.”

If you would not probe deeper in this text, you would be confused.

Saul offered to God. He did not wait for Samuel to be there, he offered things they actually prepared for the offering.

Offering to God is good, right?

Then why did Samuel say it was foolish?

It is because God does not look at what is done by the hands and what is uttered by the tongue.

He looks at the heart.

When he looked at Saul's heart, when he offered, He was not pleased.

Saul's offering smelled like a weak faith in God to rescue them from the hands of the Philistines They were fearful, his soldiers were losing heart. That's why he tried to do things his way.

When he was getting tired of the wait, he was losing his confidence in the Lord.

Somehow, his offering were not to bring praise to God or to submit to God's authority.

I see it as bribery. Saul wanted to win, and by offering stuff, he thought that God will be automatically in favor of their army and give them victory. It was as if he was inserting coin into God for an instant win!

He tried to be king over the King of kings.

He was like a boss in a movie, saying to God Himself, "Kill them."

He did not submit to the Lord's command to wait, he wanted God to follow his personal strategy.

Isn't it a prideful attitude? To follow your own strategy because you are kinda losing confidence in God's strategy?

Yes it is very prideful.

However, if you look at yourself, you sometimes are like Saul.

Especially when God wants you to wait.

When the pace is a little slower than how we like it, when things are not as good as you think they would be in the waiting period, you tremble. You become filled with fear. You lose confidence in the One who's in charge. You grab the stirring wheel as if saying, "Ako na nga! Di ka marunong magdrive eh.. 10 kph?!" You forget that it's God you're getting the stirring wheel from.

From simple stuff like getting a Driver's License, we have a hard time waiting.

Fixers in LTO seems very friendly and inviting, when you think of the long wait you would need in getting a Driver's License.

To a lot more serious stuff like getting into a relationship, we have a hard time waiting.

You think that the guy you like could suddenly change his mind when he courted you, that's why you bit the apple too soon.

When we become impatient,

1. We rush decision-making and forget consulting God about it. We do things for the wrong reasons. Even something as beautiful and as sacred as offering to God was used by Saul for selfish reasons. Moreover, his decision, because of overlooking the importance of soaking it in God's commands, did not go too well. The Philistines was given not to Saul's hands, but to his son Jonathan's hands. His soldiers had found him less trustworthy.

2. We try to be the masters of the situation because we think the Master of everything isn't going to do anything about it. We fail to see the great things God was about to make. In this text, Samuel said that the Lord was ready to establish Saul's kingdom over Israel for all time, if he only had a heart willing to wait on Him. In the same way, God has big things in store for us. The thing is, He wants our hearts to be prepared for these things before He gives these to us. He wants us to have a heart that looks up to God as the Lord. A little delay does not mean God forgets to move in your situation.. God is not like human beings who are a little too forgetful! Put your faith in Him!

3. We win little fights but lose in the bigger battle.We amplify the value of less important things while ignoring the more important stuff. You could have finished it earlier and easier, but you have not picked up the lessons that should have gone with the process. Saul could have seen the Philistines fall in the Israelites' hands, but he lost his chance to have the great encounter with God through being a king over Israel. 

What decisions in the past did you make hastily, without consulting God? How did they turn out?

Are you willing to wait? :)

❤❤Faye

Modesty is NOT only skin deep

I wanted to take a break from skirts last Sunday, so I wore this attention-getter pants. The print was crazy, because it had a lot of colors and textures. So I wore a plain black top over it. Here's a long sleeved dress spiced up by the sheer fabric and made it modest yet exciting.. Yes, you read it right. The top is a dress! Who says you can't wear it as a top? :P

I wore these pair of shoes because of the nude color, which somehow neutralizes the wildness of the pants, and the animal skin texture, which matched some patches of animal skin on the print of the pants.

I really like this gold cross necklace. I'm fond of necklaces, especially when they're gifts from special people. :)

That's our dog Maki. Half-Japanese Spitz, Half-askal.
Haha she stared at me as if she's asking what I was doing! :))

Pretty shoes! They also come in dark brown.. My sister, Ate Ann, has the dark brown version. :D

Dress worn as top: Forever 21 | Printed Pants: Terranova | Shoes: Charles & Keith 

Because of the animal skin prints, I thought of this thing I want to share to you regarding modesty.

Enjoy! Take it to heart. ;)

We have a saying that beauty is only skin deep.

Contrary to popular belief,

Modesty is not only skin deep.

When we hear about modesty in clothing, what first comes into mind is how covered the body should be.

In my quest to discovering how modest God wants us to be, I realized that before you become willing to cover your body for the right reasons, you should have a heart covered by the Holy Spirit.

You can be modest obliviously. You can be modest unintentionally.

But you cannot pursue purity with modesty out of the picture.

Your modesty should be a manifestation of what's in your heart.

"The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

- 1 Samuel 16:7

God looks at the heart.

So does that mean that we should forget about modesty because it speaks about the outward appearance?

No! We should not forget about modesty. Because godly modesty does not speak only of the outside.

Modesty should speak of what is inside.

It speaks of a heart that seeks purity because of a love for God.

If you truly pursue purity for God, you would carefully look at everything you do and consult God if you are doing something awful. If you ask God to purify your heart, you would evaluate yourself and be willing to change things that are "impure", up to the littlest  of details.

The pursuit of purity does not stop at some point where you would already say that you are already an expert. God purifies our hearts as long as there is a little stain in it that could be destructive.

A heart that seeks purity would overflow that it would be manifested physically.

The kind of modesty that is a fragrant offering to the Lord is one that is done out of your love for God.

Modesty should be a mere outward glow of what is inside your heart.

We always have to have our motives checked. Why do we pursue modesty?

It could actually be pursued for the wrong reasons.

For selfish reasons.

I want to be modest so I will look decent.

I want to be a modest because I am a leader, it will help my reputation to other girls.

I want to be modest so no one in church would have something to say about me.

I want to be modest because the Christian guy I like is impressed with modest women.

I want to be modest because everyone else in church does it.

These reasons could be "acceptable", but these reasons are manifestations that you are not seeing modesty as an offering to our King. 

If this is the case, your modesty is mere vanity.

Empty and meaningless.

The only reason behind your pursuit of modesty should be to encounter God in a deeper way!

Because if you pursue modesty as a way to seek God, as you seek purity, you will find out that modesty does not just transform your wardrobe.

It is also used by God to transform your heart. ;)

Modesty is not only skin deep, is it? :)

❤❤Faye

Best Friends with a Prayer

FEBRUARY 21, 2013. We watched his first
performance on Philam Life Auditorium stage. :)

Here's Jopel Bargan.

He's the guy I am praying for right now.

I can say, we are, today, "best friends with a prayer"!

Haha that's a made-up term for the friendship we share today.

Our friendship would seem bizarre to most of you. Because if you say that we're MU, I would laugh because "MU" is definitely not the best way I could describe this amazing friendship between us. That term has a connotation that its meaning is too shallow, too immature, too selfish.

In 2010, a barkada was formed after the Against the Flow District Camp in Bataan. There we met new friends from different places. After two years of being churchmates, that was the only time I knew he existed.. Hahaha!

In late 2010, I got to know him better because we worked together in Arenda, with other friends. We also had group devotions, which was often led by this young man. Also, our tropa used to eat lunch together after TFCN's morning service.
One day, after eating lunch, I announced to the tropa that I was to lead our CG later that afternoon. This guy challenged me to share my topic to the tropa. I was so intimidated by him and the others, because back then they were long-time leaders already. That's why I did not want to share it.

DECEMBER 19, 2010. See his unconcerned
face when I was crying? Haha!

But this guy was saying stuff like, "Wala ka pala eh! Di ka pala prepared. Nako dapat ang lingkod ng Lord laging prepared. Kahit sino kaharap dapat kayang magshare."
He was "bullying" me like that. And I started to cry..

However, that was the very reason why I came to him to evaluate my weaknesses. Because, besides of seeing my weak points, he was that bold and honest to say my weaknesses in detail. Haha. I really wanted to grow deeper in my faith. That was why, when I saw someone who finally saw my weakest points and had the guts to tell me so frankly it hurts, I always had my actions evaluated by him.

Time came when we became closer because I was also the one who had the guts to tell him what he was doing wrong. Our other katropa were too intimidated by him, and that's when I realized that my intimidation faded as I saw him as a helpmate. I thought that telling him his weaknesses is some kind of helping him the way he has helped me.

Time came when only the two of us were available to go to Arenda. It was a great time for us to encounter God together. Every after our Arenda session, we talked filled with amazement with God. We talked about our prayers for the youth in Arenda.

JULY 2012. Arenda was flooded, stormy.
We went anyway.

The more I get to know him, the more I realize that our personalities are sooooo different! We have different preferences in everything. From things as trivial as favorite foods, to things as grand as perspective on some serious topics.
That was when I realized that the only common denominator was our love for God.

I was annoyed at some of his behavior, however, I saw my annoyance irrelevant.
Why? Because it does not change the fact that we have helped each other to grow deeper in God a lot.
I am saddened by the fact that he hates eating lugaw, thin crust pizza, green mangoes, santol, ....... and many others of my favorite food. He cannot be my food trip buddy :(
But hey, how could that little difference overpower our same passion to talk about God all the time? :)
He's not my food trip buddy, but he's definitely my seeking God buddy! :)

I am very happy because we got used of focusing more on God every time we were together, and not ourselves. We would talk about each other's spiritual life, ministries, CG's.. We would talk about each other's opinions and prayers on what happens in church, in our families and even in current events! Hahaha! Our differences really spices up our conversations - both our perspectives grow wider!

The list of our differences grows longer and longer everyday.
Somehow, the passion for God we share also grows every single day!
And that's something I am really thankful about this friendship. It is obviously God-given, a great blessing to both of us.

What's going on between us?

At the first months of our friendship, when our closeness was already getting attention, people around us tried to convince both of us either to make it official or to go separate ways. They say that we were magka-MU (mutual understanding - for Filipinos, it meant that both parties have feelings for each other, but do not want to commit in a serious relationships), they say it was not healthy, and we should end it as soon as possible.

Honestly, it felt like we were celebrities. People around us were making such a big deal about it, our tropa even had misunderstandings because of our friendship. :(

We did not want to be hard-headed and to be disobedient to our Lord whom we both serve.
That was why, hearing those things around us, we did not just tried to defend ourselves and to become bitter. (No, we did not fight as if its "Jopel and I against the world")
That's why we grabbed that intense moment to pray harder about our friendship and constantly ask God what He wants us to do with our friendship. People around us have different opinions of what we should do about our friendship, so we found it extremely necessary to consult God Himself about it!

We talked to our CG leaders and youth pastor, and to other people who were spiritually mature, and who knew us on a deeper level.
We talked to our closest friends. We talked to other friends.
I tried searching the net for books! I did not look for books that would help me defend our situation, I looked for books that would actually rebuke us if we're doing something wrong. Something that would only tolerate and amplify my pride would be of no help. However, I was led to books surprisingly approving the kind of friendship that we had. The kind of friendship that sincerely gets to know each other, without too much focus on emotions, and all the attention to God.

For months, we prayed about our friendship as hard as we can.
We were even ready to go separate ways if that's what God would tell us.
Gradually, things fell into their places.
After all that's happened, all the rumors, all the judgmental eyes that looked on us, all the concerned words of some friends rebuking us, God tells us that our friendship is okay. In fact, we could use it to minister to others! This friendship we choose to offer to God! :)

The important question would always be:
is your friendship God-centered or emotion-based?

 And for you to know if it is God-centered, ask, are you God-centered individually?
Have you been attached to him because of your feelings (and just justify it with being God-centered "kuno")?
Or is it your mutual love for God that attached you to each other?

What are we waiting for?
Yes, we are waiting for something before we go dating.
We are waiting for God's go signal.
For now, it is pretty obvious that it is not yet time. We have a lot more to do in our individual ministries, in our CG's, in our studies and in our families. God is telling us not to focus on what we feel for each other. He's telling us to just keep on serving Him and the time will come.

I was praying last Sunday about this. A thought struck me. If we decided to date earlier in our friendship, when everyone around us was telling us both to make it official, we could have had wrong reasons for making it official - ano yun, para lang matapos yung issue kaya magiging kami?
We could have focused to our feelings for one another, and become less focused to our ministries.
I would have taken it as a license to be extra sweet to Jopel until everyone else around me fades into the background.
I was so immature back then. Being in a relationship in that early stage of friendship could have made me love Jopel and forget loving all the other people around me.
While waiting for God's go signal, I am learning so much about loving other people around me. :)
I am learning to not desire a relationship with Jopel too much that my desire to have a deeper relationship with God would be compromised.

So for now, I am focusing on the other things God wants me to do. :)
Yes, my friendship with Jopel is there, growing deeper everyday, but my relationship with God would always be more important. If God would allow us to enjoy a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship someday, I want it to happen in His perfect time. Because that way, it would be so beautiful, certainly more beautiful than what both of us have ever imagined! :)

DECEMBER 9, 2012. We watched a classical guitar concert of his guitar mentor.

We are not yet in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship not because we are scared of commitments.
Our friendship today is already a commitment - we guard each other's hearts by not developing a similar friendship with the opposite sex.
We are not yet in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship not because we are just playing a game of pakiramdaman.
We know how each other feels. Our terms are clear, unlike MU's. (malabong usapan) Ask us any question about our friendship, and we would be ready to respond what God told us when we prayed for it in the past.
We are not yet in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship not because of lame excuses..
We are too God-fearing to hide behind excuses.

We are not yet in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship
because we are waiting on God. :)
And that's our prayer - that we would both go wherever God leads us, especially in our friendship.
Pray for us, too?

What are your thoughts about waiting? :)

❤❤Faye

How's your weekend? :)

Nothing beats a weekend spent for God :)

You might think that it is boring.. Well, it's the farthest from boredom! :)

Friday

Praise God It's Love with Special Guest Acel van Ommen

It was rainning hard, yet it was a really great time where I had a little bonding time with my CG. :)

My hair was curly here. But notice in the next pics, it's straight like nothing happened. See how my hair hates curls, no matter how much I like it curled? Hahaha

I've known her for almost two years now. And I am extremely blessed as I witness how God powerfully moves in her life. :)

I loooove these two :) I am blessed by their sincere desire to grow deeper in God and grow deeper in love!

The four of us in one great (and happy) shot! :) Thanks to our youth pastor himself who offered to take this  pic :P

I really wanted to share with you guys the amazing moment we had with Acel van Ommen.. My camera died too early though. So sorry, no videos. (For your info, she was the one behind your fave karaoke song, "Torete")

Acel shared what it really meant for her to wait for True Love.

She then shared her powerful testimony on how she fell into sinning with her past self-centered relationships. She shared with nicely chosen words, how God came to her rescue and made her love life beautiful!

She is now enjoying a God-centered relationship with her husband. They have two adooorable children who were with us :)

Saturday

So it's the day when the house gets cleaned up, and our hands get dirty from household chores.

Okay, for some, Saturdays mean getting only the tip of their fingers dirty. (Computer generation!)

After doing everything I had to, I went straight to Full Charge, our youth service for college students.

Kuya Herbie preached to these college students.

After the sermon, we fullchargers group ourselves for a meaningful sharing time.

It was a great afternoon for the ladies, we had the most personal and the sincerest sharing time yet..

The hearts of the people I meet in Full Charge are really encouraging. They are the kind of people who really knows what "commitment" is.

Afterwards, I had a fun yet meaningful dinner with the tropa.

Okay, well, we played 94 Seconds in the greater part of the hour. Hahaha!

I love these crazy people.. :P

Sunday

I had a short but sweet bonding time with my small group leader, when we prepared a special number for the Tagalog service. Sadly, I did not manage to get someone to record it. :( I like documenting stuff because I'm so forgetful, so it could have been very nice if we had a video. :(

Good news, I was able to record the other special number in the Tagalog service! :)

Nang Dahil Kay Hesus was played wonderfully by Bamboo and Rod

Was deeply touched by the song :')

Pastor Jordan preached in the Tagalog Service. I appreciate how he really tried to speak 100% Tagalog!

However, it was evident that he was pretty challenged. :P But yeah, the message of the Lord touched hearts! When God speaks to your heart, you'll realize that language is not the issue. ;)

Some fresh meat shared her talent in the English Service. She sang Kari Jobe's Steady My Heart.

The song is so passionate! Moreover, it connects with everyone. Everyone becomes rattled by changes all the time, and we do need God to steady our hearts. :)

Pastor Sam preached in the English service, sharing to everyone how God moved after the first leg of the 2013 Motocross Series MMF is organizing. :) (Read more of it here)

I cried literally in the whole sermon because I am amazed by how enormously God moves in a ministry!

That morning, I prayed hard that God would expand my ministry.

He says that He's preparing me now, so I'm pretty excited to give my all even in the little assignments He gives me now. :)

We had Gencon with an emphasis on Waiting.

God has spoke a lot to me about waiting on Him regarding to the ministry I am dreaming of :)

This is just a mere glimpse of what my weekend looks like. There's a lot more than what's written here.

But every little thing I did in this weekend, sure was a great encounter with my King.

From doing household chores to crying to God without reservations!

Now that's a weekend well spent. ;)

How do you spend your weekends? How do you want to make it not just fun but also meaningful? 

❤❤Faye

Love Month Modesty :P

Are you more comfortable with leggings, like me? :)

My pants are now too short for me, or too faded already. That's why I started wearing leggings more often. However, I realized that leggings could be a stumbling block, especially when your top is fitted, and a little shorter than it should be.

Here's one way to make leggings more exciting yet more modest.

An exceedingly loose top could be as immodest as fitted tops when worn without undergarments. So I wore my quite fitted skirt (that I never use alone after God changed my heart) under it, so that I would be comfortable when times come that I have to raise my arms. :) I would not be too nervous that my tummy and behind would be exposed when a wild wind blows my loose top.

Cross Necklace: Gift from Mr. Kwanhyeong Cho | Bag: Elle | Watch: Skechers

Plus, the cross necklace! Thanks Mr. Kwanhyeong Cho for this lovely necklace. I am now deeply appreciating stuff with crosses. :)

(Just make sure that it won't appear to have an inverted cross, so it wouldn't send the wrong message)

Modesty is very important when you are in a relationship with a guy.

We have to have the heart to help them guard their hearts and thoughts.

Mere friendships with guys could be helped a lot by modesty from us girls.

Mere friendships.

How much more do we girls need to help guys who are emotionally inclined to us.

(Hahahaha funny how a phrase like that makes it seem serious and harmless.)

When feelings are present, when he is showing his motive through his actions (women's intuition, sistah!), when he already confessed to you his feelings, or when he is courting you, or when you two are already dating,  temptations are stronger than ever!

Lust is the number one weapon of the enemy to ruin relationships and rob you both the joy from a relationship that delights in God.

But there is one reason why a lady could have a hard time being extra modest when she is with her gentleman.

You become extra comfortable when you are with them.

Being comfortable with someone you trust inevitably comes.

However, its advantages end at some point. When you are too comfortable with them, like you are not bothered at all when you wear some of your skimpy outfits, you put an uninvited entry point for the thief in your relationship.

You could be so comfortable with wearing your shorts, mini skirts, tube, with the guy you "trust" to respect you, and forget that you are putting him in a place where the enemy could easily trigger man's common weakness. Lust.

You may be comfortable, but when your guy who tries to do his best in pursuing purity is nudged by the enemy to lust at you, I don't think he would be as comfortable as you.

Also, sometimes, we think that showing some skin would appeal to them. Sometimes, girls tend to beautify themselves for guys they like. But that's not the way it should be. Firstly, we should think of being beautiful for God's glory, not for our own! Secondly, a real godly gentleman would not want you to show skin. He would be the one telling you to cover up more. He would be the one to appreciate you even more when you choose modesty over vanity! :)

Moreover, why let him see what would have been a pleasant surprise on your first night of marriage? Don't spoil the moment in the future by losing all the excitement today. And besides, what if God has someone else in mind for your marriage? It would have been a nice gift if he knows you saved yourself purposely for him. :)

That's why when you are with your boyfriend, or one who admires you, be all the more picky of what you wear! There's nothing like a relationship that is offered to our King. When your relationship is laid down at his feet, His hands would embrace you both as He protects the pure joy He intended for relationships. :)

It's not yet too late to changed the way you dress up when you're with him. What are the pieces you would never want to wear when you're with him? :)

❤❤Faye

Music is an Encounter with its Maker

Last night, I played the piano for my Lord. I was crying in awe, being reminded of how He brought piano into my life. As I played, I flinched at mistakes in tempo, and the lack of some elements I was hungry to learn and to master. But yeah, I just kept playing, poured my heart into it, as I prayed to my King. It was my worship.

I knew it wasn't much. I kept saying to God, "To pa lang kaya kong gawin, Lord. See how limited it is? See how amateur the techniques are? But this is all I can offer, and my heart jumps because you receive it with a welcoming embrace.."

I would try my best to improve all the more for You, my Lord!

Maglilingkod ka na rin lang sa Diyos, sagarin mo na!

Speaking about music, I wanna share to you an experience we had at a free concert of Jopel's school, Philippine Women's University, held at Philam Life Auditorium last Thursday. The University's School of Music has produced a lot of talented individuals, and has successfully molded champions.

Here are some videos of the performances. Enjoy! :)

There's Jopel! Right in the center! Wahaha! :P

Here's Orientalia :)  It's an interesting mix of instruments from centuries ago, and the modern instruments we have today. :) Watch the other parts on YouTube.

You know what I like in classical music? Emotions and messages are expressed through music itself. Unlike pop songs, the lyrics is the one doing most of the speaking. While in classical music, it expresses things cannot be expressed by words. It brings you to an entirely different realm. It puts you in awe of what the body of man can do with music, which is wilder than the cries of the beasts! ;)

I was with some awesome people that night.. :)

The star of the night! Hahaha! It was a debut - it was his first to play in a place such as the Philam Life Auditorium.

How do you enjoy your music? How much do you maximize it in encountering our King? :)

❤❤Faye

It's a gift from God, so don't let frustrations cloud your sight!

Photo grabbed from Kamyl Manchus. The cutie ring was also from her. <3

Music has played a great part in drawing me closer to God.

I may not be the most excellent pianist, but could you believe it, my very weaknesses in playing the piano are the ones used by God to reveal to me a lot of things.

Tears are streaming down my face right now.

Minutes earlier, it was out of utter frustration. Why? Many questions lured me to fear and to doubt. Man, was I so emotional lately! But then again, it is moments like this that give memorable lessons to me.

Music is from God, and so is my Piano-playing
 Before I even got serious with God, I got piano lessons. My ninong gave me an electric piano as a gift. I do not even know what came to his mind when he gave me that! During that time, I did not realize how expensive that keyboard was. I only thought that it was some toy I could play with.

One time, on a field trip, I bought a bamboo recorder that comes with a paper with a little tutorial. "Close these holes if you want to play a 'G' and so on.." It has famous songs on it, with the melody translated into these letters. As soon as I get home, I tried these melodies on my dusty keyboard, untouched and almost forgotten. My brother, knowing a few stuff from their music classes, put masking tape on every key so I would know which key is C, or whatever. My mom saw how happy I was to play the melody of "Lupang Hinirang". My mom immediately suggested that I take piano lessons the next summer.

The next thing I know, I was taking classical piano lessons. I was very bored! I thought it would be cool, but it was contrary to my dream piano lessons. I always tried to feign sickness just to have an excuse to skip lessons. But my mom nags on me about that all the time! She almost dragged me to the piano, even when I tried to fake sleep, just to have piano lessons.

After 3 years of "forced" classical piano studies, I stopped. I thought I would be busier in high school and I wouldn't manage if I still continue my music lessons.

But it was not out of my life just yet. When I was in second year high school, I started attending Gencon. It was an unexpected time of the year - there came conflicts with the pianists so the worship team needed pianists so badly that I was forced to learn how to play Christian songs. Classical piano is way waaaaaaay different in playing in church. It's an entirely different game.

But I don't regret entering this ministry. I might have thought earlier in the ministry that I was forced being there, but when I think about it, I had a choice! And I chose to play for God just because I thought it was the right thing to do.
I consider our music director, Pastor Jordan, as my mentor in piano-playing. Also one of our ex-pianists, Kuya Gino, taught me some stuff. I am sooo blessed to have them!

True enough, choosing to be involved in this ministry was a good decision. I have encountered so much of God through this ministry.

In being involved in the music ministry, I learned so much about
commitment.
I learned how to set aside my comfort just so I could play the piano for God. I would wake up early in the morning only to practice with the team. Imagine, I would be sacrificing a couple of hours of more sleep just to go to the P&W practice and hear our music director's frank criticisms. :))
At first I did it just because I had to - we were only two pianists back then. But after a while, God transformed my heart and I learned to do it for Him.

My family saw how much devoted I was with what I did. Sometimes, my mom would get angry because I choose to play for our youth service, instead of going out with my family. I held on to Matthew 10:37 back then. As long as God does not tell me to put my family affair first to minister to them, I would play the piano. After years in the ministry, my family finally understood. :) Praise God for moving in their hearts!

I also learned a lot about
humility.
They say that the number one enemy of a church musician is playing for their own glory.
But for me, it was not the case. The music ministry was very humbling for me. Because in it, I saw how undeserving I was. I saw how much improvement I should sweat for. Thanks to our praise and worship team, I always received the harshest words about my piano playing... which in turn changed my attitude towards it for the better! :)
Criticisms are hard to take when you have so much pride in your skill. But when you humble yourself, that's when you become more teachable and more versatile.

Being in the Praise & Worship team, of course, I had a deeper understanding of
worship.
When you have a ministry such as this, it's your gift being offered as worship.
I realized that God is not pleased by how good you are in that gift, He is more interested by what's in your heart. The true worshipper does not stop worshipping when circumstances are less comfortable. The true worshipper worships regardless of where he is, whether it would be on the stage, on the church benches, or even when he's alone. Worship is a lifestyle.

I first took to heart this word because of music,
excellence.
Yes, God's most pleased with what's in your heart. But when your heart seeks to offer what's best, God is also delighted.
I learned to aim for excellence, not to lift up my name, but to glorify God. Not to gain His approval, but to bring back all the praises to Him.
I learned how important giving my best for God is! However, I comprehended how limited I am, the more I seek to give my all. When we're at our wits end, that's the time we remember that it is God that would mold us into excellence. Moreover, it is a worshiping heart that allows God to do so. :)

Now why am I suddenly blogging about this?
It is because I had an inner battle earlier. The enemy, doing his job of stealing from me the joy of encountering God through my piano-playing, confused me.

I am taking piano lessons again. (Yes, after 7 loooong years of unguided piano playing) After 4 sessions, I felt as if I have not improved and I am not getting it. I sobbed at the idea that I could be wasting my time taking these lessons. I almost beat myself every time I practice, because I become frustrated of how much I do not grasp in what my teacher is trying to teach me.

Because of that, I started asking God, is it really Him who placed me here? I doubted the reason why I am pursuing piano today. I questionned whether I was meant to continue pursuing piano or this isn't my gift and I should just stop and start pursuing other stuff that could be my gift.

Then God reminded me how he brought piano into my life. He refreshed my memory.. He was moving, when  my ninong was thinking what to give me. He was there when my mom heard me playing the melody of Lupang Hinirang. His hands were guiding mine when I was taking my piano lessons back then.

Just as "hands on", God is also here with me as I see my limitations in piano playing.
I know that He led me to take these piano lessons, not to make me frustrated but to teach me fresh new lessons. I'd do my part and remember those four things I learned from P&W ministry - commitment, humility, worship and excellence.

What's your gift that you're insecure about? One which you always thought you weren't made for but always appear right in front of your face when God encourages you to be involved?

❤❤Faye

Taking the great commission to a whole new level!

When you're a Christian and you see someone as passionate in reaching souls for God as Pastor Sam Tamayo, you'll be energized and start to really think about your own ministry. :)
When you see someone like this, you would think.. There's really no space for idleness. There's so much stuff that has to be done! God has so many things He prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
Why slack off in your Christian life? You would miss all the excitement!

Who would have thought motocross would be powerfully by God like this? :)

❤❤Faye

History-maker

Generation Congregation, our youth group, is out to make history.

Not to make a name for ourselves, but to make Jesus's name famous! :)

Christianity is perceived by many as boring. They put it in a box of traditional perspective and categorized it into never-to-talk about topics.

But God, the center of it all, seems to prove us all wrong.

He did not create adrenaline, excitements, and the element of surprise for nothing.

Here He is, actively demonstrating His power to us and to motocross enthusiasts.

Our youth pastor, Sam Tamayo, managing partner of Xtreme Adrenaline Sports Entertainment Co., with his siblings, used to ride and compete in several amateur categories under the most successful motocross team, the Shell-Yamaha Racing Team. After one of their races in 1999, they met an accident which cost the life of their father. They stopped racing and focused on their studies and family businesses.

When Pastor Sam went back to racing in 2002, he won three over-all championships out of the six championships their team won that year. In 2005, he was elevated to the Pro-category in the "Cebu Board walk National Motocross Series". However, circumstances in the sport grew more and more unfavorable.

Photos grabbed from MxMessiahFairgrounds.com

Now that he is an ordained pastor, God calls him back to the sport.

Not to make his own name famous, but to make his Lord's name known.

He has organized races since 2012, with a vision of seeing Filipino Youths, instead of channeling their quest for ultimate thrill from senseless activities, become world-class extreme sport athletes vying to bring honor and glory to both God and country.

Last Sunday, a successful first leg commenced. Before the races began, Pastor Sam shared his story, how God moved in his life. He shared God's Word. And just like that, things fell into place. God's hands so tangible in this ministry. Lives are being touched. More lives to be changed by our Lord.

This ministry is such a big inspiration for me.

I saw the giant gesture of God when a little heart chooses to be devoted to our big God.

How much do you want to serve God today? How much are you willing to offer God your heart and everything you have? :)

❤❤Faye

Know more about MMF:

Website

Wardrobe of Grace

After weeks of deep slumber, this blog is rising again.

Not only with a new design, also with a new blog title.

I changed it after weeks of meditation about my blogging. :)

We see in the Bible how important naming is. When God wanted some of His people to take a u-turn, He sometimes changes their names according to what He called them to do.
That's why I realized that I should further meditate on what this blog should be called.



Wardrobe of Grace

Studying in Manila, I often stumble upon stinky filthy people in the streets. You would barely recognize the color of whatever they're wearing. Clothed in the street's pollution, they only receive disgust from the people around them.

Why am I saying these things? To further embarrass their kind and express utter disdain?
Nah.. I am saying this because I was once like them. Or even worse.

I did not sport their fashion, I looked all tidy and neat, clothes fragrant and neatly pressed. My skin was fair and clean, with a hint of the scent of my favorite lotion. But if you saw what was deep inside me, you would be nauseous. I was the stinkiest and the filthiest inside.

I walked the streets with judging eyes. I spoke with a prideful mouth.
My thoughts were filled by the murkiest cloud. And my hands? They did the most abominable things.

Every person I passed by could have thought that I was noble.
I knew better. I was your most terrifying nightmare.

I held my head up high so no one would notice what was under my skin. Deep down was a narcissistic monster who only loved itself.
I looked at everyone around me as a garbage bag. I get from them anything edible, and when they have nothing left to give, I leave them like how I would with trash. Surrounded by people, I felt like I was surrounded by trash. They did not know what was going on with me deep inside, so they weren't any help at all.
So I chose to wander alone, without a clue where I should go.
I did  not even understand why I should even take another step.

The hunger did not fade, thirst not quenched. What was I longing for?
I ate everything my hands land on, thinking that maybe, just maybe, that was what I was starving for.
Desperation took the best of me. I grabbed everything I could, but my stomach was still empty, raging in agony.
Everything I did tarnished my skin with dirt, wounds and bruises, etched on my insides excruciating pain. The more I tried to survive and to seek fulfillment, the dirtier I get.
I was so hungry that I even tried to eat myself. Maybe that was the only thing that could fill the monster's bottomless pit? I almost destroyed myself when I devoured my own flesh.

That was when a Man came with what seemed like the most inviting hands. He said that He came to save me from all this misery. I almost refused His offer. I always read His "Free stuff for life" signage, but I always laughed. It was too good to be true, I could be poisoned and be experimented with. But when His hands were right in front of me, I reached out mine. Pain finally numbed my entire body, so I know trying this one out would not hurt anymore.

The moment our hands touched, I was astounded.
It was not what I expected it to be. It felt phenomenal.
A tiny seed of hope was planted in my heart, it was not the end for me just yet.
He saw every horrible thing my hands did, but there's no hesitation, not even a hint, in His clean hands when it held my nasty pair.  He did not mind how much I stink. He picked me up and put His arms around me. It was the first time I experienced that sensation. I almost melted in His embrace.

He was immaculate, without a speck of any kind of dirt, yet He never showed repugnance towards me. In fact, He always touched me, touched my heart. He gave me a warm bath. He scrubbed my back, washed every blemish on my skin, until its original color shows up. He saw the wounds inflicted by my past, and He healed them one by one.

He led me to a room with a majestic wardrobe.
My heart jumped when He opened it and started clothing me with His wardrobe's glory.
He had taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.

It was my soul that was naked. It was my soul that was cold.
I attempted to warm it up by pacifying my flesh's desire. But that wasn't what I needed.
It is the wardrobe this Man opened before me that satiated my heart. That was what my soul was desperate for. I realized what it meant to truly live.
For He has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. He clothed me as if I was His own daughter.

His powerful voice spoke, "Put on your new self. Clothe yourself in my presence. For I  satisfy the longing soul, and the hungry soul I fill with good things."

I asked Him, "Why are you doing all these things? I have never done anything to deserve your kindness.. Why did you rescue me? Why love someone as dirty as me?"

He uttered one word that wrapped me passionately.
"Grace."

Now I set out to do what He calls me to do.
Everyday, I go to that wardrobe and clothe myself with His grace to reach out to people who still walk astray.
I would take them by their hands, encourage them with a warm embrace, and lead them to the place where I found the Wardrobe of Grace.

❤❤Faye

Psalm 30:11 | Isaiah 61:10 | Romans 13:14 | Ephesians 4:24 | Psalm 107:9
(Hover over verses to see little pop-ups of the Bible text)
Thanks @Reftagger for your sophisticated touch on my blog :)